Looking After Yourself: Supporting Others Without Losing Yourself
Why Caring for Your Wellbeing Matters
Grief arrives in waves, and it’s okay, even necessary, to pause and let those waves wash over you rather than fight them. Surrendering to the moment, noticing your body and breath, or connecting with nature can restore balance and perspective. Even small gestures, like stepping outside to feel the sun, stretching, or sitting quietly with your feelings, ground you in the present and strengthen your ability to witness the young person’s grief.
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Sustainability: Supporting grief takes energy. Without tending to yourself, your ability to witness and hold space diminishes. Even small moments of care can help you stay present.
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Modeling healthy coping: Teens and young adults learn from what you do, not just what you say. Showing that it’s okay to feel, reflect, and care for oneself teaches them that self-compassion is part of navigating loss.
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Emotional regulation: Grief can trigger strong reactions - sadness, guilt, anger, or even relief. Caring for yourself helps you respond with calm and patience rather than frustration or avoidance.
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Comfort and continuity: Practices like rituals, continuing bonds, and memories of the deceased can bring comfort to adults as well as young people, reminding us that love doesn’t disappear with loss.​
Practical Ways to Care for Yourself
1. Routine, Exercise, and Nourishing Food
Routines provide grounding in a world disrupted by loss. Exercise boosts mood, reduces stress, and improves sleep. Eating balanced meals fuels your body and mind, helping you respond calmly to the young person’s needs.
How to practice: Keep consistent sleep, meal, and activity times. Even a short walk can reset the body and mind. Some days, even getting out of bed, eating, or moving feels impossible. That’s okay. Start small: a glass of water, a few minutes of gentle stretching, or a simple snack. Each small step counts and honours your own needs.
Extra guidance: It’s okay to have days where self-care feels out of reach. Asking for help from friends, family, or professionals is not a sign of weakness. It’s a way to sustain yourself so you can continue supporting the young person. Don’t let them take on a caretaker role; your steady presence and support remain your responsibility.
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2. Build Your Support Network
Counselling, peer support, bereavement groups, or community spaces can provide guidance and reassurance. Modeling help-seeking teaches young people that asking for support is a strength.
3. Engage in Restorative Activities
Practices like meditation, creative expression, or spending time in nature restore energy, calm, and perspective.
Examples:
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Mindful breathing, meditation, or yoga
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Creative expression: drawing, journaling, music, or photography
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Connect with nature: A walk, sitting in sunlight, or simply noticing the world around you can provide calm, perspective, and a sense of continuity.
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Rituals of remembrance like memory boxes, candles, or storytelling
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Respect the young person’s choices, they may engage differently, and that’s okay.
4. Practice What You’ve Learned
Use grounding, emotional noticing, and self-compassion exercises. Observing your emotions, journaling, or mindful breathing models healthy coping and strengthens resilience.
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5. Allow Yourself Moments of Pause
Short breaks, a walk, shower, or cup of tea, help you return with renewed patience. Pausing doesn’t mean abandoning the young person; it lets you witness their grief fully.
Continuing the Journey
More ways to support a grieving young person
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Not sure what to say?
Gentle guidance on what can help and what young people often wish adults understood.
→ Read What to Say
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Hear what young people say helps
Real messages from young people about the support they need from adults.
→ Young People’s Voices
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Learn more about understanding young people’s grief
Advice from a therapist on how grief can affect young people and how adults can support them.
→ Read Therapist Advice